A Father's Wish.....Brings On A Mother's Tear

I found this on Rex's MySpace page, not on accident since MySpace is a public place, but just as I was leaving a message to tell him how much I love him. His worry's remind me why I love him so much......

Oct 10, 2008 4:27 AM
A Parent’s Wish
I can't help but think about my future child and the smile I get when I see my wife with the doppler/baby finder thing and she finds the baby's heartbeat inside her. All day long I pray to God that my child have a better life than I have and hope that all the pain and death I have gone through in my life have some how been penance for my child so that they may have the perfect life. I hope to never hear the words that my child has 24 hours to live if they are lucky as my mother had to bear from the doctor that delivered me. I hope I never have to explain why God chose some of us to go through extreme pain, such as cancer, and why some lived and others died, as my mother did to me when I was just a teenager. I pray my child never has to bury their first love six feet below and never see them again to smile. I definitely want my child to never turn to the bottle as a pain reliever as I did in their troubled times.

I hope my child will be braver than I am when it comes to following their dreams no matter how expensive that dream may be. I will push my child to become the person that he/she wants to be, I love my parents like no other, but I wish they would have been harder on me to succeed. I want to teach my child that failure doesn't exist, only lessons learned from life is all that happens. It makes me anxious and nervous because I know my actions will reflect on my child and that is the personality they mirror.

Thank GOD my wife is brilliant, tough and an objective person because any child from my loins will need those traits! I want my child to learn from their mother that actions before thinking aren't always the brightest ideas like daddy does and that's why daddy ends up in the ER.
I feel better now,
Good night.
Rex

My sister's response,
An Aunt's Wish,
I wish that my future nephew/niece has the perfect life as well. She/he has the perfect parents to raise her. One completely dedicated, strong, and independent. The other carefree, humourous, and passionate. Between all of those traits, the baby will either be a hellion or a great asset to the world.

Calm your worries... as I have recently discovered, worrying about baby in the womb is so much easier than worrying about baby outside in the real world. Every car trip, every doctor's visist, every cough, every sneeze.

You will make an excellent daddy just as you have made an excellent husband.I

also hope your child knows no excessive pain. But once again, all of that pain, suffering, and mistakes have made YOU who YOU are. The man who married my sister, the man who is in my life, the man who made my newest family member.

We all love you and little Toad. Yes, times will always be scary and you're heart will forever live outside you.

My response,
A Wife's/Mother's Prayer:
I first prayed I would meet someone who could even stand to be around me and all of my moodiness. I then prayed to find someone who was different than me so I wouldn't be boring the rest of my life. You walked into my life and I couldn't have asked for more. You have stood by me through thick and thin these past three years and yet you're still standing, the biggest feat anyone has done in my life other than my family.

A year passes in our marriage and I begin praying that all of the bad things that touched you in your past have not killed off our chance to bring a little one into this world. God answers prayers. Only two months pass and we get the best 'positive' of our life thus far. Although we may never be out of the woods due to both of our genetics we can only pray that with both of our prayers we will never hear those words your mother once heard.

As my sister mentioned it's much easier to be worried about a baby in the womb than in the outside world but I do believe that together WE can do this. It is no longer about our past lives it's about our life from here on out!

Your wife and the future mother of our child.

What An Incrediable Weekend!

This has been one of the busiest weekends in a long time! Meredith and Olivia came in on Thursday and met me at school for lunch. Friday she came back up to school to 'teach' my students how to make 'dirt babies'. I'm sure many of them will remind me on Monday how awesome my sister is. What they wouldn't give more more arts and craft time in school!

Friday night we all went to the fair. By we I mean Meredith, Olivia, myself, Bree, Sara, Greyson, and Lorelei. It was fun. Going to the fair with that many kids makes for an interesting evening of trying to navigate through lots of people with two strollers. Mere and I did indulge in a corn dog and some fried smores! It was a blast.

Saturday morning we got up around 8:30 because that's when Olivia got up and we went and had breakfast with Rex at Hubbards, a local favorite. Mere, Olivia, and I then went garage selling in my cousin's neighborhood, Woodbridge. We found me a swing that plugs in (save $$ on batteries) a floor gym, and a few maternity shirts. Then we went to a pumpkin patch to try and get some cute photos of Olivia. She didn't really care for the pumpkins and only a few were taken. Other than that it was a beautiful day and Olivia was a perfect baby. After a trip home for a nap we were out and about again to the outlet malls in Allen. We found lots of cute clothes for Olivia (I can only hope for a girl). For dinner we drove clear down to south Mesquite to eat at Johnny Carrino's because Meredith proceeded to tell me how wonderful it was and I'd never been. Never tell a pregnant person how wonderful something is without planning on acting on giving it to her. It was a long drive but an excellent meal :) We got home late and crashed but not before we tried to find Toad's heartbeat. Lately this has been very easy. We didn't find it and I had horrible dreams. We decided we'd try again in the morning.

So this morning with my bladder full we tried again. Turns out Toad has moved to the other side of my belly which is why we probably couldn't find it last night. The heartbeat was fast and strong at 157 bpm. Thank goodness!

Friday is my next appointment. I'm officially 16 weeks along now. A month from now we'll know whether or not we'll be shopping for blue or pink! I can't wait!

How Time Flies!

I just realized it's been almost a month since I've been on here last. Life is so busy these days. Yesterday I officially entered my 2nd trimester. I'm 14 weeks along. This past week on Wednesday I heard Toad's heartbeat on my own with a home doppler machine. The doctor didn't think I'd be able to until about week 20 but who can wait that long to give it a try? So I found it. Still beating at about 158 beats per minute. I called Meredith, my parents, and my grandparents. Poor Rex wasn't home but I left him a voice mail with the message and the heartbeat. It was so reassuring to hear it! Now that I know where to look I've found it a few more times as well. It's a very soothing noise.

I also went shopping for the first time for maternity clothes. So far I've been lucky enough to have clothes from Meredith and Sara but both of them are shorter than me so I needed to find some jeans. Luckily enough I found some and they are pretty cute I think! I also found some cute shirts to go along. All of them still have plenty of room for me to grow into so hopefully I won't have to buy more before it's all over, haha.

This past week also lead to more surprises at school. Turns out there are 5 pregnant teachers this year! I have the earliest due date but everyone else follows along about every three weeks. It's crazy but it should be fun to compare bellies with others.

Meredith is coming down this next weekend for her fall break. I can't wait. It's been a while since anyone has visited me down here. She's going to come on the train on Thursday and then come up to school for a while on Friday. At some point we're going to fit in a trip to the fair. It's the last weekend so she's making it just in time!

All in all things are going very well. I'm not really experiencing any more nausea and today I had enough energy to clean the entire house. I don't just mean clean, I mean clean. I even cleaned off the ceiling fans. It was soooo gross. I don't know how we've lived with it being so dirty, oh wait maybe it's because today is the first day I've felt like I've had any energy :)

Anyway all is well here. We scheduled the 20 week ultrasound on November 21st (which will actually be 21 weeks but the family will be down for Thanksgiving). So we'll all be praying for some open legs on that day!