Does It Get Easier?

by Susie Cortright

One foggy, fuzzy day when I had three kids under the age of five, I happened to be sitting on a park bench near a group of very put-together moms. (Foggy and fuzzy didn't describe the weather – just my mental status that year.) These moms were chit-chatting as their school age children played nearby. I was nursing my six-month old while my two-year old tried to bounce on my knee. My four-year-old was braiding and twisting my hair to keep herself occupied. I looked up at this group of moms, and I said, "Tell me it gets easier." They shook their heads. "No," they agreed, "It doesn't get any easier. It just gets…different."

I've heard this many times: The notion that parenting doesn't ever get any easier – it just changes. And one thing is true: The questions my kids ask now are harder to answer. The problems my kids have now are harder to solve. But I think that we say parenting doesn’t get easier because we want to emphasize that parenting never becomes less important – and that is most certainly true. Good parenting at age 14 is no less important than good parenting at age 1 or age 4 or age 22. But the fact is: Day-to-day life DOES get easier. My kids are each out of diapers and sleeping through the night. Two of them are in school full time and one enjoys preschool a couple days a week. Yet, their time in infancy is still so fresh in my mind that I haven't forgotten waking up every two hours to feed the baby, having to work in the middle of the night because I couldn't cram enough in during the day, the sheer physical exhaustion that came with being pregnant while chasing toddlers. And the restlessness that came with the feeling that I was losing touch with the person that I was even amid the bliss of new motherhood.

I don't have teenagers yet, so in a few years, I may have to amend this message, but I feel compelled to whisper this fact to every bleary-eyed mom with a double stroller. It DOES get easier. At some point, you will begin to sleep – ALL night long. Maybe not every night, but you will come off chronic sleep deprivation. You will feel less moody and less tired and more like the woman you remember being. And that will make everything you do seem infinitely easier.

At some point, your kids will begin to buckle their own seatbelts, tie their own shoes, and brush their own teeth. It will be a treat to take them out to dinner, and vacations will be time for relaxing, not just more work for you. At some point, your kids will ask for what they want using complete sentences, and they will, on some level, understand a rational explanation of why it is or is not in their best interest to want such a thing.

At some point, your clothes will look roughly the same at the end of the day as they did at the beginning. At some point, you will actually go for days -- weeks, even -- without having anything to do with your child's poop. At some point, you will regain your professional identity, though it's sure to be a new and more mature variety. At some point, you will have time to volunteer for causes that are important to you. At some point, you will be able to read an entire book before its due date at the library. At some point, when you clean your house in the morning, it will be clean all the way until the kids get off the school bus in the afternoon. At some point - and this is really strange - but at some point, you will come into your home and it will be quiet.

And when this happens, you will have some remarkable little people (who are a lot like you) to chat with and to laugh with and to share your life with. You will also – and I can say this with certainty – miss all of those things that are making your life not so very easy right now.

I suppose I feel compelled to say all of this because when we can see a light at the end of the tunnel, it makes it easier to settle into our days and to enjoy them, just the way they are. Because life with kids never gets any better than it does when they are small. It doesn't get any less exciting or any less fulfilling. And it certainly doesn't get any less important. It just gets…different. May you find light in every single age and every single stage.

Copyright Susie Michelle CortrightEditor, Momscape.com

My Newest Creation

A very unique bow holder! The flower bows I made myself too!

July Randomness

We had an arguement about how long she was going to stay there while I cooked dinner....I won!

Sitting like a big girl in her stroller at the mall!

Not sure what to do but I'm sitting here.

Here we go! First time this morning, July 24, 2009. I'm not sure I'm going to get tummy time to be worthwhile anymore....



And again...

Last night...I think Rex gave here some extra sugar in that bottle before bed.

The Third Month....

We reached the 3 month milestone! At 12 weeks she weighed in at 10lbs 15oz. She is getting so big! We spent the 4th of July at my parent's lake house near Lake Tenkiller. Here are a few pictures from there and from other various times in July.


This may be the first time we've officially allowed Olivia to sit next to Astoria. I think she's a little miffed. She loves her very much but likes to beat (pat) her head and pull her arms. Olivia's favorite thing to do however is to kiss Astoria's feet (this happens to be the only safe place we let her kiss).

She was so happy to finally get to kiss the baby. One day it won't be this easy. I foresee Astoria either not allowing this to happen or perhaps they will always be the best of friends. Only time will tell....

I laid her down on the bed one morning to go brush my teeth, fix breakfast, and get dressed only to return to find her fast asleep. This is definitely her signature sleep pose as well as the pose she sported in the womb. Both hands are either covering her face or above her head. Surprisingly enough this has happened on two other occasions as well.

Tonight while I was fixing dinner Astoria watched on...don't let it fool you, she only lasted about 5 minutes in the chair. Next time I'm going to put the tray on with some toys and see if she lasts longer.

Stay tuned for more of July! Rex and I celebrate our 2 year anniversary tomorrow (July 14th) and my 30th birthday is on the 31st. A month of great happenings!